I stand all amazed.

In Sacrament meeting today we sang "I stand all amazed". As I sat during the sacrament I thought over those words in my head. It really truly is amazing what our Savior, Jesus Christ did for each of us.

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me,

confused at the grace which so fully he proffers me.

I tremble to know that for me He was crucified,

That for me, a sinner, He suffered He bled and died.

I marvel that He would descend from His throne divine

To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine, 

That He should extend His great love unto such as I,

Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify.

I think of His hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt!

Such mercy, such love and devotion can I forget?

No, no, I will praise and adore at the mercy seat,

Until at the glorified throne I kneel at His feet.

Oh, it is wonderful that He should care for me

Enough to die for me!

Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!

I love love love this song so much. Every line of it is amazing. It is so true. 

I am confused at His grace. It is so infinite, so all-encompassing of everything we will ever experience. I can hardly begin to understand the significance and the degree to which his grace affects me and everyone else to live. 

It truly is amazing. Marvelous that He would descend from His exalted throne. That He would descend from His perfection to save someone as imperfect as myself. That He, while being perfect, while otherwise never needing feel the pains of sin, had such great love that He would instead feel the sins of everyone else. He was perfect. He didn't need to feel the pains of heartache, loneliness, disease, or any other afflictions. He wouldn't sin and wouldn't need to feel the pains of those consequences, the pains of turning from his father. Yet while He was perfect he determined to descend below it all in order to save each of us. I can't even comprehend that love, selflessness, and patience that He must have had. "For me He was crucified, that for me, a sinner, He suffered, He bled and died.... that he would descend from His throne divine to rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine."

I can't imagine the pains he bore. Every time I think of those nails driving into his hands I cringe. I cringe at the pain it would have caused Him, and I cringe at the fact that he suffered all of that pain for me. How can I ever forget that mercy, love, and devotion? How could I go a single moment without remembering Him. Remembering that it is only through Him that I will return to my Heavenly Father one day. That the only way I make it through even the smallest trials in this earth life are through the strength and support which he gives to me. Such mercy, such love and devotion can I forget? No I cannot! I will praise and adore Him! All I can do is recognize His hand, be grateful, utilize that wonderful gift, and share it with others so it won't have been in vain. I kneel every day at the mercy seat. I need to remember that and remember to praise and adore Him as I kneel there before Him. As I am healed from my wounds and cleansed from my sins, I must always remember to praise and adore at that mercy seat.

I love Alma 26. Where Ammon simply glories in his God. It could definitely do me good to follow this example and realize the glory of God around me. Verses 11-12:

"...I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God. Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength can I do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever."

He is my source of joy and strength. Without Him where would be my source of strength or sustenance or peace? It wouldn't be anywhere. I do have a Savior in whom I will rejoice. In Him and only in Him is my joy made full... so much that "my heart is brim with joy". That is amazing to me.

"Oh, it is wonderful that He should care for me enough to die for me! Oh it is wonderful, wonderful to me!"

It truly is wonderful. He has given me the most wonderful gift I could ever have. A way back to Him. The most selfless, loving act that anyone could ever give. He loved me and everyone else to ever live enough to suffer these tremendous pains. One of the most beautiful, yet difficult scriptures to read in my opinion is D&C 19:15-19. It is Christ's own account of those sufferings in Gethsemane. It is the account of the terrible suffering He endured for me and everyone else out of love and desire for us to return home again. 

"how sore you know not, how exquisite you know not, yea, how hard to bare you know not. For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit--and would that I might not drink the bitter cup,  and shrink--..."

He suffered these things for us so that we wouldn't have to suffer. If we repent. It's so simple, yet we so often think it to be so complicated. We see repentance as this scary thing. We feel afraid to turn back and recognize our sins? Why?? He suffered so we wouldn't have to suffer. Repentance allows us to return to our Father. It allows us to be made clean. 

Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me! I want to strive to keep Christ in my mind more often. To remember these wonderful things and to remember that I can return to Him again! He has given me all I need to do so. 

Christ lives and the atonement is real. He suffered for us. He loves us. He is my strength, my peace, and my joy. For all of this I am so grateful. Oh, it is wonderful to me!