The pink receipt.
A woman gave us a pink lined receipt at the library. For some reason, she thought to chime in "and you get... a girly receipt.
What makes the receipt girly? I fail to see why the thing pink line of ink tracing along the side makes it "girly". Paint it and the printer pink. Why is that girly?
I know that it is a silly example. But it's little comments like this that tend to kind of irk me. Because they remind me of all the other small hints of not only sexism, but also silly gender roles. Like the fact that a pink receipt must be girly.
But it goes so far beyond that.
Not only opposition of women and all the beef we hear about women's rights and feminism. But there is also so much against men, in an over-exaggerated "feminism". One where it places women on a pedestal and men on the ground. It's called benevolent sexism.
Another comment at the library was when I overheard an employee helping a woman with the copy machine. "You just have to tell it what to do" she said, "kind of like a man". The two women chuckled, and Carter met my eye, smiling. Probably because he knows how these comments get to me.
Imagine that you overhear the same conversation from two men.
"You just have to tell it what to do... kind of like a woman". Suddenly the connotation is very different. Rather than chuckles of agreement, many would be offended or uncomfortable based on that sexist comment. How dare a man demean a woman by telling her what to do. Yet we laugh at the reverse when directed at men.
I hate how easy it is to let these comments slip under the radar. One of the places I hear it most is among the women at church. Small, subtle comments about their husbands or men in their life. About their husband's dependence, shortcomings, whatever it may be. Often generalizations about all men, as if every man was helplessly unable to cook, parent, hardly survive without his wife. These comments are always met by chuckles, little laughs as the women concur about the silliness and follies of men.
It may be true. Of course men have their weaknesses. But women also have theirs. While women now expect respect, almost reverence, men are still swept under the rug. And it's so easy to do because it is so normal. I am all for feminism. I have some strong opinions about women's rights and especially equalism. But too often those who claim this perspective degrade men in the process of praising women. So I propose we stop tearing down men in the hope of raising ourselves up.
Just take a step back and observe. Look at what you hear from others and even what you yourself say. Look at the men in your life. Don't generalize them into a box, but don't ignore who they are. Yes, their personality is likely influenced by both biological factors and society's gender roles. But so are yours. Don't shove them into the "man box" and don't expect them to fit into your "woman box". Look at who they are. What society's expectations have encouraged them to be. What your expectations, comments, compliments, and opinions encourage them to be. Look at who they are and appreciate them for whatever that may be.
Hold back the subtle comments. Maybe even stand up when you hear them. I did not confront the nice ladies at the library. I'm not sure if I should have or not. Still trying to find my place in the world of equalists. But do what feels right to you. It can be hard. I sometimes find myself laughing at the comments. It is so easy to add to them. But don't laugh at your husband's inabilities. Praise him for his abilities and strengths.
If he changes the car tire or remodels the bathroom, praise it. If your husband loves to cook and you fix the cars, own it. If you both work 9-5 and share the load of house, babies, or whatever it is, love him for who and what he is. Don't try to change him, but understand and appreciate those differences that make you both unique. Just love him.
Hopefully this will expand even further. Beyond your husband or partner and into the other men in your life. Hopefully you will see more in your own sons and also daughters. Teach them to be gentlemen, but don't tell them they can't be nurturing or play with their sisters. Let your daughters play with cars. Let the boys have dolls. Don't tell them they can't wear this color, or tell them they're getting something "girly". Don't tell your toddlers to "man up" and stop crying, to hide their emotions. Congratulate them for acknowledging what they feel and experience. Just let them live. Let them be them.
Men are wonderful, as are women and neither is better than the other. Just take a moment to love the men in your life and be grateful for what makes them who they are!
My wonderful Carter is such a hard worker.
He is silly, fun, and full of energy.
He loves to make pizza dough and is SO MUCH better at it than me.
He likes his ice cream creamy and I like mine chunky.
He loves to run around air softing and playing night games while I like to cozy up inside.
He loves soccer.
He is such a "sad sappy sucker" (as he would say) for babies. It's the cutest thing. And hilarious... he spends most of church begging me to grab someone's baby so he can hold him/her during the meetings. It's great.
He loves video games (his God-given talent, apparently ;) (eye role) and DnD (and makes a great DM ;)
He is best friends with all my brothers and is so loved by them.
He is a listener.
He is so so patient.
He is full of love, faith
He is passionate about the things he loves.
He is non judgmental of me.
He is my very best friend in the whole world. Who I never get tired of talking and laughing with, and who I'm so grateful to have as my partner in adventure, struggle, stress, success and joys for the rest of forever! I am so blessed to have this man in my life. ♥
What makes the receipt girly? I fail to see why the thing pink line of ink tracing along the side makes it "girly". Paint it and the printer pink. Why is that girly?
I know that it is a silly example. But it's little comments like this that tend to kind of irk me. Because they remind me of all the other small hints of not only sexism, but also silly gender roles. Like the fact that a pink receipt must be girly.
But it goes so far beyond that.
Not only opposition of women and all the beef we hear about women's rights and feminism. But there is also so much against men, in an over-exaggerated "feminism". One where it places women on a pedestal and men on the ground. It's called benevolent sexism.
Another comment at the library was when I overheard an employee helping a woman with the copy machine. "You just have to tell it what to do" she said, "kind of like a man". The two women chuckled, and Carter met my eye, smiling. Probably because he knows how these comments get to me.
Imagine that you overhear the same conversation from two men.
"You just have to tell it what to do... kind of like a woman". Suddenly the connotation is very different. Rather than chuckles of agreement, many would be offended or uncomfortable based on that sexist comment. How dare a man demean a woman by telling her what to do. Yet we laugh at the reverse when directed at men.
I hate how easy it is to let these comments slip under the radar. One of the places I hear it most is among the women at church. Small, subtle comments about their husbands or men in their life. About their husband's dependence, shortcomings, whatever it may be. Often generalizations about all men, as if every man was helplessly unable to cook, parent, hardly survive without his wife. These comments are always met by chuckles, little laughs as the women concur about the silliness and follies of men.
It may be true. Of course men have their weaknesses. But women also have theirs. While women now expect respect, almost reverence, men are still swept under the rug. And it's so easy to do because it is so normal. I am all for feminism. I have some strong opinions about women's rights and especially equalism. But too often those who claim this perspective degrade men in the process of praising women. So I propose we stop tearing down men in the hope of raising ourselves up.
Just take a step back and observe. Look at what you hear from others and even what you yourself say. Look at the men in your life. Don't generalize them into a box, but don't ignore who they are. Yes, their personality is likely influenced by both biological factors and society's gender roles. But so are yours. Don't shove them into the "man box" and don't expect them to fit into your "woman box". Look at who they are. What society's expectations have encouraged them to be. What your expectations, comments, compliments, and opinions encourage them to be. Look at who they are and appreciate them for whatever that may be.
Hold back the subtle comments. Maybe even stand up when you hear them. I did not confront the nice ladies at the library. I'm not sure if I should have or not. Still trying to find my place in the world of equalists. But do what feels right to you. It can be hard. I sometimes find myself laughing at the comments. It is so easy to add to them. But don't laugh at your husband's inabilities. Praise him for his abilities and strengths.
If he changes the car tire or remodels the bathroom, praise it. If your husband loves to cook and you fix the cars, own it. If you both work 9-5 and share the load of house, babies, or whatever it is, love him for who and what he is. Don't try to change him, but understand and appreciate those differences that make you both unique. Just love him.
Hopefully this will expand even further. Beyond your husband or partner and into the other men in your life. Hopefully you will see more in your own sons and also daughters. Teach them to be gentlemen, but don't tell them they can't be nurturing or play with their sisters. Let your daughters play with cars. Let the boys have dolls. Don't tell them they can't wear this color, or tell them they're getting something "girly". Don't tell your toddlers to "man up" and stop crying, to hide their emotions. Congratulate them for acknowledging what they feel and experience. Just let them live. Let them be them.
Men are wonderful, as are women and neither is better than the other. Just take a moment to love the men in your life and be grateful for what makes them who they are!
My wonderful Carter is such a hard worker.
He is silly, fun, and full of energy.
He loves to make pizza dough and is SO MUCH better at it than me.
He likes his ice cream creamy and I like mine chunky.
He loves to run around air softing and playing night games while I like to cozy up inside.
He loves soccer.
He is such a "sad sappy sucker" (as he would say) for babies. It's the cutest thing. And hilarious... he spends most of church begging me to grab someone's baby so he can hold him/her during the meetings. It's great.
He loves video games (his God-given talent, apparently ;) (eye role) and DnD (and makes a great DM ;)
He is best friends with all my brothers and is so loved by them.
He is a listener.
He is so so patient.
He is full of love, faith
He is passionate about the things he loves.
He is non judgmental of me.
He is my very best friend in the whole world. Who I never get tired of talking and laughing with, and who I'm so grateful to have as my partner in adventure, struggle, stress, success and joys for the rest of forever! I am so blessed to have this man in my life. ♥
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